More bitching.

I hate to get incredibly personal on this thing but, it is an online journal so...whatever. It may also turn into a rant so...just bear with me.

I am so sick and tired living with my mother and brother right now. Its been eating away at me for the past couple of weeks and has finally reached a boiling point - YAY! - well since my brother moved back into town. He has yet to find a job and of course this is stressing everyone out because there's more money leaving the house than coming in and we're all constantly at each others throats. My mom constantly has to bitch about something, and always seems to be in a bad mood and CONSTANTLY asks me "Did you take your meds?" and other stupid questions and my brother constantly has to argue about anything and everything, and as for me I of course get ganged up on and yelled at for "yelling for no reason" and get told to "calm down". No I'm not going to calm down, look, I pay my rent, I pay my bills, I go to work and I go to school. I have a fucking take home test due this Thursday and I'm not doing to well in my other class (this is turning into the worst semester I've had at school) and I'm stressed, so stressed in fact that I'm picking at my skin and scalp and have little scabs all over and I can't sleep to hot either. Also everyone always has to make snide comments THAT THEY KNOW WILL PISS ME OFF..why? is it fun to watch me freak out? to my family it is apparently. Yes, I should learn to control my anger and what not but give me some slack. I'm not the one whose father gave them $400 didn't give my mom 1 cent of it, spends it on a game, lays on the couch half the day, goes in the garage instead of looking for a fucking job so I can pull my weight in the household. Like last night, I ask my mom if she could help explain a question that was on my homework, she gives her input..... in a rude way and then tells me that I need to have better handwriting and if I took my meds....well thanks mom, I love it when people attack me when I ASK FOR FUCKING HELP. I've been looking for a better job so I can move out and get away from the constant bickering and attacks and just have some peace and quiet, I seriously feel like punching my self in the head or ramming my skull through someones window. I'm sorry if I'm playing victim but this is how it is. I get yelled at for the stupidest shit, get picked on (whether its joking or not, I don't care I'm sick of it) I'm made out to be the bad guy because I "fly off the handle". Don't get me wrong I love my family to death but like any other family we have our flaws, and hopefully they will work themselves out...if not, I'm screwed.